Gratefulness Everywhere

You can hit the little timeline of posts on the side of this page for Thanksgiving posts of yore. For now I bring you: annual "things I'm grateful for" post.

It's been a rough year -- that's not an exaggeration. There's been a whole hill of Army drama, personal drama and other drama making the ordeal rather, well, trying. And exhausting.

That brings us to this: I am grateful for all the wonderful friends and family who have helped us through it. Without them I wouldn't have been able to do six months without Luke and with an infant.

More things that I'm grateful for:

-- Baby Dave. As predicted last year he is cute, cuddly and super fun to tickle. But he's also some of the best company in the world, a really good listener and a true light on even the most down and hard day. I love that little boy SO much!

-- Luke. Even far away he is just the perfect support and person for me. I cannot believe how I lucked out in this deal.

-- My Army family. I can't even imagine how hard this would've been without them around. They have been and continue to be so important to me.

-- Coffee. For serious, folks.

-- God. We'll just say I saved the best for last. How could I have possibly get through any of this without Him to lean on?

Luke Returneth!

Excellent news: it looks like Luke will be able to leave for home in about a week or so. Praise Jesus!

It is blowing my little mind how SOON that is! After almost 6 months on the dot of waiting to see him again, I just can't wrap my brain around it actually happening.

Six months of sleeping alone. Six months of eating like crap because I can. Six months of watching whatever I want on TV. Six months of taking care of a baby all by myself. Six months of anniversaries and birthdays without the person that gives them meaning. Six months of hard core safety and homecoming praying. Six months of memorials, FRG meetings, being supportive, being supported, BBBs, small group, plane rides and oh so much more ... without Luke.

And all of that is about to end. I am so happy!

I know the reintegration process is not going to be easy. I mean, for starters, I really do like sleeping diagonally and it is not going to be a cake walk giving that up. And then there is the (legitimately) harder stuff. He's seen a lot of things go down that I would care to never think about, much less experience. He's been somewhere very hot, and, well, I'm pretty sure that starts to melt your brain after awhile. He has yet to really experience Baby Dave in all of his glory -- and now Dave is 7-months-old.

I'm trying to brace myself for the worst. I pray that the good communication we've worked hard to develop through journaling, phone calls when they were available and care packages pays off and we are able to pick up right where we left off ... if not further along.

I've got plenty to do before he gets here. For starters, I'm in Idaho until Dec. 1. And then there is house cleaning, grocery shopping, other previous commitments, Karissa good-byeing, meetings, pie making, shopping, pedicuring and other various and sundry husband-coming-home tasks to accomplish.

All of these are important ways to fill the time. Time until I get to be married again. Time until Dave gets to have a daddy.

Idaho. No, you.

I'm pretty sure I've used that line before but I don't care. It's just that good.

I'm here at the Doolittle homestead for a week or so. I'd say my family wanted me to visit but you and I both know that this is about them hanging out with Dave.

Case in point:

My mom: "My grandson is here so I'm doing great."

Me: scowling look

My mom: "Oh, and my daughter."

So there's that.

Idaho is cold, per usual. Actually, it's not much colder than Seattle is right now... but HERE it is rather windy all of the time - a dry, unpleasant wind.

And Dave is sick. This is particularly un-awesome here in the Land Of Dryness. I had to buy a humidifier for his room so that he could breathe all night long (or, more accurately, so that he could sleep all night AND NOT WAKE ME UP). At home we don't have this problem because it is way too moist in the apartment as it is. Anyway.

The really funny thing about this situation is that the poor kid now has laryngitis. So. Pitiful. But sooooo funny at the same time. You can tell he's TRYING to make a loud noise, but it comes out in a very small squeak.

Negligent

I have been negligent. Sorry about that.

Things have been very, very, very, VERY busy around here. Multiple days of the week I leave the house at about 8 or 9 a.m. and dont really get home until 6 p.m. or so. All of that time is spent running hither and thither and dragging my poor son around creation. Bible studies. Being supportive. Errands. Another Bible study. More being supportive. Memorials. Battalion events.

It's becoming a bit of a drag. I'm not going to lie.

It's also VERY cold in this apartment. Why oh why did the downstairs neighbors have to move?! I guess I should turn on our heat. Meh.

Thursday we head for Boise where we will spend a week and a half with my family. Free babysitting! woohoo!

I'm not feeling super inspired right now ... Ill write more later.

Luke Update and a Small Rant

First, because so many people have asked ...

Yes, I've been very bad about updating. I just haven't had anything to say here of late.

Because you all care, however, I will tell you -- Luke was not involved in Tuesday morning's IED incident that killed seven of our heroes. He was back at the FOB as far as I am aware, and had actually just gotten off video chat with me. He has been able to chat via video with me now 5 or 6 times over the last few weeks. At long last the FOB got the tent with computers and phones up so now its like a Luke communication FEAST! Awesomeness.

So, that being said ... he is doing OK. Obviously it's hard loosing so many people, and it's hard on us too ... so many memorials to go to. But we are doing fine, and eagerly (EAGERLY) anticipating his return in six or so weeks (woohoo!!!).

~~~~~~~~~

Now, my rant. I haven't ranted in a while and since it's my blog I get to say whatever I want. So now I shall rant about Halloween.

I HATE halloween. It bewilders and dismays me that we as Christians have accepted this as something it's ok to not only take part in but to celebrate. Let's go ahead and think about what Halloween celebrates, not so much in a historical sense but in a pop culture way: evil, death, things that are scary, ghosts, spirits, the devil. For some reason we've managed to dupe ourselves into thinking this holiday is neat and that there is nothing wrong with it - that somehow we can ignore the real point and just wear costumes and go ask neighbors for candy without taking part in the satan fun.

Wrong.

Halloween is FOUNDED on satan and evil and the spirit world. I realize some of our Christmas and Easter traditions (example: christmas tree) have pagan origins, but I've yet to meet a single person who actually celebrates those. But Halloween is FULL of people who celebrate the scariness and think it's cute to dress their kids up like the devil. It is not cute.

"But we are redeeming the holiday by ignoring the evil and making it instead about fun and costumes."

OK maybe YOU are. And maybe YOU understand the finer points of that statement. But what your kids? Do they really understand why they aren't allowed to dress up as anything scary? Do they grasp the fine distinction between them and their friends who get to bed dead princesses? Do they really get that they are ignoring the satanic undertones of death and evil and making it all about fun costumes alone? Wouldn't it make more sense to instead teach them that we don't participate because we don't celebrate satan?

And a final point ... church harvest parties throw on October 31 to offer an alternative to halloween. ... and people still wear costumes ... and kids still get to eat their candy also make me mad.

Why, oh American church, must you feel the need to do something at all? Is there something so wrong with simply abstaining? Celebrate fall in September... or November ... but why must you do something on this day? Do you really feel that much pressure to take part that you must disguise yourself under the theme of sugary, harvest fun?

So.... no, we in Bushatz house don't celebrate halloween. We don't like satan so we are going to let him have his holiday all to himself.

End rant.

Faithful in the small stuff

God is faithful in the small stuff.

Even when it seems like it should be on the bottom of his to-do list, He is still on top of it. I mean, I see other things as being really top priority ... things other than making Luke call me when I really, really REALLY need him. Things like stopping train wrecks and waylaying terrorists. But God still hears me and answers and shows that He cares.

That's cool.

It's almost like I have magic prayers. I lay in my bed and I ask Jesus that, if it all works out, if He couldn't have Luke call me. Sometimes I pray for just an email. Sometimes I'm ok and don't need a phone call at all (we don't want to abuse the connection, you know).

And then I wait. I watch my phone. I fiddle with twitter. And hum a little tune.

And not long thereafter my phone will ring. Or the little blinky light will go off indicating "email! email!" And it will be Luke.

You may think "well duh if he is going to call thatd be the time." And sure, maybe it would. But I dont know what night he is going to call on and its not always at the same time (sometimes I go to bed earlier or later). So that's not a valid thing to explain it away.

Last night I was having a really really hard time. I felt so alone -- so very, very alone. I've got some family drama going on that I could really use Luke's support over. Marriage is really about support in times just like this. And I'm married. But WHERE is my support?? Anyway, I digress. I knew Luke was NOT going to call me. He had told me he'd be busy for a few days and not calling.

This is such serious family drama that I had considered whether an emergency red cross message would be appropriate (and if you ask me what the drama is, well, Im not going to tell you so dont bother). I was told that the best way was to spread the word and have him call me when he came back in. Not helpful. I had emailed our chaplain's wife earlier in the day to ask for her advice on the subject, and that is what she told me.

I sat at my kitchen table last night, emotionally exhausted and facing a 430 a.m. morning (in prep for the flight to PHX which is currently delayed ... this blog post brought to you from the sea-tac USO). I thought "Luke cannot call me. He is not going to call me. But if God wants him to call me, that wont matter."

Fifteen minutes later my phone rang. It was the chaplain's wife telling me that she had just gotten off the phone with her husband, who had actually just seen Luke and said he would pass on the message to have Luke call as soon as he could.

Twenty minutes after that Luke called.

Magic Jesus action, if you ask me.

This isn't the most well written post I've ever done ... operating on 5 hours of sleep here, folks and boy am I zonked. My point, should you choose to take it, is this: it doesn't matter if there are bigger and better things going on. God is faithful to me -- us -- in the things that really matter and when we really need Him, he's going to be there IF we believe that He can be. Check it out, it's in the Bible.

YMCA Much?

I've been spending a lot of time at the gym. A. Lot.

Today was my day off. In honor of getting a day off I did an extra long workout yesterday, with lots o' weights and ab works. Boy do I feel it today. I swear I did not do more than one machine for the legs and the hurt a TON. Am I really in that bad of shape?

Tomorrow I'll be back at it: the pool will be on the menu for the first time in, well, months.

I am determined -- DETERMINED -- to fit my clothes. And not fit as in "they button." Fit as in ... I look hot in them.

So there.

In other news, we head to Arizona Thursday for Jen's wedding. Looking forward to seeing people, but NOT looking forward to the process of getting there. Dave has become three thousand times more complicated to travel with in the last month. I now have to check his car seat, for example. He no longer likes to sit still on my lap for long periods of time. He throws fits. He eats solid food that is difficult to feed him while he sits on my lap. Oh the joys. (Havent actually figured out how Im going to feed him on my lap without him grabbing at the food jar and without getting food all over myself AND him).