Well THAT Wasn't Expected

This week I was supposed to go to the clinic every day to have my blood pressure checked. It's been high since pregnancy check up number one. Without fail my BP is high at the first read after walking in the door and and high normal on the second read. OK, that's not quite without fail ... two times it's been high normal the first time and that's it.

Meanwhile the doctors were calling me "at risk for preeclampsia," a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure and a variety of other symptoms that result in swelling and the need for getting the baby out early, usually no later than 37 to 39 weeks into the pregnancy.

I completely blew this off. I mean, with the terrible parking situation at the hospital and the fact that they always take my blood pressure immediately after getting weighed (I mean, obviously this is a recipe for stressing me out) why WOULDN'T I have high blood pressure?! Seeeeriously.

That was until yesterday. I waltz into the clinic (and really I was waltzing because I didn't even have to look for a parking space ... but I was in a hurry because I had groceries in the car and I wanted to go home so I could go to the gym ... so really I was just as stressed as normal) and they take my blood pressure.

... Normal! The first time EVER.

But that apparently did not matter. Late last week I participated in the World's Most Annoying Lab Test and at the risk of overshare (and in the desire to avoid it) I'll just say that it's a 24 hour urine test and not go into any greater detail.

Said test showed I have a high protein count in my urine -- a sign that ye olde kidneys are not really doing their thing. In fact, it was enough of a jump from the original test (that showed what I "normally" have) to really freak the doctor out, awesome BP yesterday morning notwithstanding.

So they sent me trotting (er... waddling ... whatev) upstairs to what ammounts to the labor and delivery emergency room for a ton o' tests, basically telling me that if said tests were as shocking as the urine test, they were going to take the baby out ... right then. As in, yesterday morning, and groceries sitting in my car didn't seem to matter.

I'm just going to fastforward to the end of the story, because obviously I didnt have a baby and you've already figured that out. Basically, all of those other tests were normal and I consistently had the lowest blood pressure ever over two hours time. Crazy!

But they don't seem to care about that. This high protein business is enough to sink a person and their normal pregnancy, apparently. So after all of that freaking out they aren't making me do bed rest, and they aren't making me give up the human growing just yet, but I do have to go into the doctor twice a week for a 20 minute test. If that shows the baby is stressed at all or my blood pressure is way up, who knows what will happen.

Now the entire time I was in said emergency room, mind you without even my trusty nalgene to keep me company, I was thinking. Thinking about the fact that I wish I had my ipod with me. Thinking about the fact that I don't have a hospital bag packed. ... you know, thinking in general.

Next time Im taking the ipod. And you better bet I packed the bag.
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BTW that wasn't the only interesting thing that happened yesterday, but I'm still mulling the second over so you're just going to have to wait. Hint: I got some blog "fan mail." Just you wait.

Absence makes the heart ...

It is SO nice to have Luke home. It isn't until he gets back that I realize how truly lonely I am without him. Like I said, good thing I'm getting a new human before he leaves again, or I would DEFINITELY need a puppy.

His coming back is not without its challenges. You try spending a month apart from your husband or someone you love, thinking about them a lot. This inevitably results in soul searching. And that inevitably results in some very hard, but necessary conversations.

Sigh.

Yet I love him more than ever. Could it be that's what true love really is ... that you don't love someone in spite of their faults, you love them because of their faults? Don't know.

Good Day

Even though I didn't sleep well last night (and let's not that's even WITH sleeping aide ... which I took because I knew I was too excited to sleep well. Blah) today is a Good Day.

Reasons:

-- Massage and facial. Booooooy that was wonderful. A massage is always worth every single penny.
-- My delicious smoothie. ... which I just made and ate and it really was wonderful.
-- Cleaning. Luke is coming home tonight and in preperation I get to clean. I LOVE cleaning with a reason.
-- Making a pie. Again, for Luke. But I do love to bake.
-- Luke! You may have noticed a theme here ... he gets home this evening at 7:30 p.m. and I am Very Excited.

Pancakes?

Just came from the pregnant person clinic where I learned the very important news that I gained just about 2 lbs in the last five weeks. That's right! I am that kind of awesome. My goal was to gain no more than 2.5 and I thought surely all of those pancakes and poptarts would take their toll ... but no! Hahaha! I am victorious!

Unfortunately I am not so victorious at willing my blood pressure to be low or at least on the low side of normal. I got there early, breathed slow cleansing breathes, found good parking without a problem, had them weigh me after my blood pressure ... all of the things that worked last time. But no dice. It was still high to the highish side of normal.

This may be a blessing in disguise, though. If my blood pressure is high now, it will likely be high for the rest of the pregnancy ... and if it is they will likely insist on inducing me between 37 and 39 weeks. I would be annoyed by this, except that Luke could deploy in early May leaving it very up in the air whether, if left to come on his own good time, Baby B would even be here.

And let me tell you there is NO way that I am having a baby without Luke there. Not a chance. And so if they make him come earlier, and that earlier is before Luke deploys, then all things considered I'm a happy camper.

Also excellent news: labor and delivery suggests you bring your favorite dvds and cds to the delivery room for entertainment during the labor and recovery process. Seasons of Friends while giving birth? Heck yes!

Oh No You Didn't

Just called the spa I'm going to tomorrow for my Vday massage and facial gift. ... which I am SO excited about, by the way.

"Hi, my name is Amy, I just want to confirm my appointment for tomorrow."

"Hm ... ummm ... hmmm ...well you're not on the schedule..."

Excuse me?? I called them at least two weeks ago after I made an online appointment and they failed to call me to confirm, talked to the rep who didnt see the appointment in the email but helped me anyway, made the appointment, had a long convo with the rep, gave her my credit card number, etc. ... and so on. But I'm not on the sched?!

Good thing they were able to take me anyway, lest they experience the wrath of one pregnant woman who is VERY excited about her massage and facial. Boy.

Information I Won't Like

It's not like I didn't already KNOW all of that information ... it's that when it's said withh such finality, it seems more real, even though it's not.

What I mean by all of this is, we still don't know anything. But Luke did say something today like "I could be leaving in early May."

Which, you know, was not new information. But when he SAYS it ... yeah. It seems like new information.

And therefore I am rather upset. And tired. And I don't feel good. And I kind of want to curl up in the fetal position on my bed.

And really, it's because of the whole baby thing. Because if he leaves in early May and the baby is due in late April maybe the baby will not be here yet ... and I really, REALLY cannot push a giant human out of my person without him there. I simply canNOT do it. And that's upsetting.
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I did get to talk to Luke for over an hour today. And he's still planning on coming back Thursday.

Sigh.

Seeing is Believing

I talked to Luke for quite a while today, mostly because his phone had reception as he was driving to some different part of southern California where his phone does work. Crazy. I probably talked to him for about an hour total. He may be able to call again tomorrow.

And that is exciting.

What is even more exciting is that he thinks he'll be home by Thursday evening. Woohoo!

But this is where the seeing thing comes in. Generally speaking, I'm all about blind faith. But when it comes to the Army I take back that possibly completely. When it comes to the Army I must not only see to believe, it must actually happen... and only then will I be like "yup, this is happening."

This is even MORE true for what the Army is doing with our lives than it is for the question of what day they send Luke home this week. While I would love to tell you right now "we will for sure find out our fate on March 11," like they say we will, I'm not going to say that. Instead this is what you get:

The Army CLAIMS that they will be releasing information on our fate March 11. They CLAIM that information will tell us whether or not we are being sent somewhere crazy and stupid, like Kansas, or staying here and deploying with 5th Brigade.

This skepticism is necessary for my sanity and, in part, yours. Why? Because if I'm going insane I'm going to send some of my crazy your way and you're going to have to deal with it. That's right, you. Yes, you.