Things to Avoid

I've come to learn (through much trial and error and then, just for good measure, more trial and error) that there are some things you should flat out avoid when you are feeling sad and alone. For your benefit I will now make a list:

-- Ordering take out. You end up with way more food than you can eat by yourself, but feel like you HAVE to eat it because, hello, you bought it and paid for it. Therefore: stomach ache and feeling fat.

-- Marathon watching Greys Anatomy. You don't feel like laughing so you don't want to watch Friends. But Greys Anatomy is like the most depressing show ever so, while it fits your mood, it also makes it worse. What you really need is Gilmore Girls -- a show about people who arent always happy and saying happy things, yet makes you laugh and feel fairly good nonetheless. A TV miracle. Alas, there are like 29 people in front of you waiting to borrow it from the library, and your resident copies moved to Alabama.

-- Christmas cheer. See, you might THINK this will make you happy. But you'd be wrong. In actuality it just makes you feel MORE alone and MORE sad because the people you wish you were celebrating are still far away.

-- Husband coming home preparations. Again, something else that you THINK would be a happy thing. But it isn't. And here's why: instead of having a date that he'll be coming home you, well, don't. It's like this thing that is perpetually "coming," but never seems to get here. And as for the preparations, you really could just get a pedicure a week just in case like, but you feel like a moron going by yourself. It's hard to be all supportive and awesome for yourself when you are straight up tapped out. What you really need is the requisite pizza and ice cream and movie nights and clothing shopping. But alone?

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Dave makes me happy. That's one thing.

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Today we are going to a Brigade christmas party. I RSVPed 3 weeks ago that the husband would be there with me. So now I get to go and answer a million people when they ask "when does he get back?" Kinda makes me not want to go.

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I stepped on my glasses last night and now I have to go and get them fixed. Enter a week of Amy not being able to see properly.

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Maybe I'd feel better if I put away the laundry. This is day number 11.

Nap Time

I got my baby back. No, I didn't sell him after all (I decided I like him way too much). What I mean is, that after an over three week cold, I am finally spending time with the Baby Dave we all know and love. This sick kid we've been hanging out with for all of that time is SOMONE ELSE'S BABY. Not mine. Maybe yours? (you should check).

Regardless, Dave is back. Granted this Dave has some extra snot and a little bit of a cough -- but still. THIS is my kid. None of that annoying noise anymore. No crying for no reason. Just entertaining and smiley. I LOVE this baby! (That other one stay away).

That being said, Dave decided to share his lovely cold with me. I evaded it for three weeks -- so that's something. But now I have it hard core. Even though I took a VERY NEEDED two hour nap (please note: most of it was spent laying very still with my eyes closed ... not sleeping. But I think that counts) I am still exhausted. Dave also took TWO 2 hour naps today ... go him! Maybe I should've gotten in that action both times. Whatever.

Now, things in which you have no interest but I'll tell you anyway:

-- Laundry count: 9. That's right. I am just going to go on full putting-away-laundry strike and simply NOT DO IT until Luke is on his way home.

-- Speaking of Luke, he's not on his way home yet. I just wrote a very long paragraph pontificating on what this means, but I decided to keep it to myself ... or between me and the friends I will inflict with it later during conversation. You know who you are. That's right, I'm talking to you.

-- I got Chinese food for dinner. And it was delicious. Or I was just hungry. Whatever.

-- Dave is jumping in his jumparoo and it's REALLY cute. I wish you were here to see it. That's right, you.

-- We booked a night at the Great Wolf Lodge for December 30 ... a non-mandatory Army fun day, if you will. We'll see what Dave thinks of water parks!

The End.

Baby For Sale

Would you like to buy a baby? I am selling one.

My day started with this noise at 6:15 (until I made it stop at 7 a.m.): whaaaaaa. whaaaaaaaa. WHAAAAA. (that's crying, incase you couldn't figure it out).

In between that noise the rest of the day I heard this noise: Meeeeeh. meh. mehhhhhh. mmmmmmmmmmmehh. (that's whining. FYI).

Unbelievably annoying. The only time these noise ceased was while he slept, which, let me tell you, was not terribly often.

Seriously ... want to buy a baby?

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Things I learned today:

-- In addition to being unbelievably hot here sometimes, it periodically is unbelievably cold. Today: high of 32. Right now: 19. When I got up this morning: 9.

-- Comcast figured out that we had free cable. This is most unfortunate because, when they figured it out, they took it away. Sad day for Amy. We pay $14 or so a month to get the networks without using bunny ears (which don't work in our apartment, in case you are wondering). Alas our magic TV also got, with no apparent reason, all the rest of the channels sneaky like on the free! woo! And now they are gone. Boo. Good thing I have a husband coming back soon or I would quite possibly DIE without being able to watch reruns of Bones and NCIS all of the day. As it is this cable-less-ness is probably a good thing. There will be less channel flipping with less channels. I therefore give this situation a thumbs up. Next thing to do: watch Friends over and over and over and over ...

-- In related news, if I still had magic cable I would've completely missed the fact that Charlie Brown Christmas is on tonight. Woohoo!!

-- Women don't like it when a FRGH advertises free, onsite childcare and then fails to deliver. And they REALLY don't like it when the dude in charge (who has no children ... if he did hed NEVER say this) says "Im sure we can all just bite the bullet and enjoy our children during the meeting." Yeah. After a WHOLE DAY of "meeeeeh mmmmmeh mmeeehhhhhhh?" I don't think so! And by "women," I mean "people named Amy." And by "people named Amy," I mean ... me.

-- A Charlie Brown Christmas never ceases to be awesome.

-- Ive consumed an embarassingly large number of calories worth of "fruit source mini bites" since Saturday. The down side: it's a HUGE number. The up side: they are "100 percent fruit!!" (yeah, right).

And that's all I've got for tonight, folks.

It's Getting Cold in Here ..

... so put on all your clothes ...

Sorry, slight change to the old song to fit the season.

Freezing. Absolutely frigid. ... it's a disgusting 29 outside at present, windy and, get this, NOT raining.

But really, really windy. Windy like you can hear it blowing against the apartment. Windy like BOY are you glad you're inside.

Today Dave and I hit our last PWOC board meeting. I'm stepping down so I can do the help-the-husband thing once he gets home. I must say, I am relieved. I hadn't the foggiest idea how I was going to everything I currently do AND feed, clothe and assist a big ol' Army man. So Luke suggested I drop PWOC and I said "OK." So I did.

Have I mentioned that it's COLD IN HERE??? The problem isn't that the heat isn't on, cuz it is. The problem is that when it comes out the floor heater below the drafty window it goes straight outside again. And our apartment complex isn't doing us any favors. The unit below me is STILL empty. What's the use of living on the top floor if some poor sucker below you isn't going to help with the heating problem? Geez.

Brrrrr.

(Just turned the heat on higher).

This afternoon, after a run to the commissary and Madigan (to make sure Dave isn't dying from a cold. Good news: he isn't.) I made ... drum roll ... Christmas cookies!!!

I LOVE Christmas cookies!!!!

So we have 2 batches of sugar cookies done and two batches worth of gingerbread chilling in the fridge waiting to be made up tomorrow. Woohoo!! The only thing more fun than making christmas cookies?! EATING THEM.

Today I did not put away the laundry. 6 days is the new record.

Today I ...

Because you care. (And if you don't, why are you reading this?!)

Today I ...

-- Got out of bed and realized the wind blew the boxes off the back of my car so I was going to need to chase them around the parking lot so I could take them to the dumpster. So much for not having to do the work this morning.

-- Turned on the TV and saw TNT was running a Lord of the Rings marathon. Decided to come home after church and watch Two Towers. Because it's awesome.

-- Went to church. Heard (another) amazing sermon on the life of David. Discussed important things with Bethany. Ate a potluck which included some sort of Japanese roll thing that tasted like grass.

-- Came home. Watched Two Towers, as promised

-- Dusted stuff.

-- Fed a baby. Twice.

-- Drank a latte. Ate a smoothie. (did not taste like grass)

-- Talked to Luke on skype. Discussed which part of the couch he'd like to sit on when gets home (yes, this is what we've been reduced to)

-- Listened to more serious action wind outside. Felt a serious draft through my window during the gusts.

-- Avoided putting away laundry. Days this has been successfully avoided: 5.

And -- you're in luck! -- more of the same fun is planned for tomorrow. ... except that I'll ALSO be going to a meeting and the grocery store! woohoo!

Busy-Distraction-Ness

See that in the title? I just made up a new word. That's just how I roll.

And that's what I've been doing. Distracting myself with silly-busy things, like making up new words, finishing busy projects and cleaning constantly. I've sent all of my christmas cards. I've dusted everything twice. I've picked up more cherios than I can count.

And he's still not home.

I know that he is just as eager to get back as I am to get him back and my complaining about it probably isn't helping.

But these last days are feeling oh-so-long. Mostly because I expected them to be over by now. And yet here we still are doing things that would so not be happening if Luke were home. Things like watching Lord of the Rings on a Sunday morning and NOT flipping the channels. Things like eating a smoothie for dinner last night ... like that.

Today we've got another busy day of church and an errand or two thereafter. Tomorrow we've got a PWOC board meeting, followed by an FRG meeting Tuesday, PWOC Wednesday morning, a super exciting surprise trip with Charlene Wednesady afternoon (surprise for her, not for me), BBB Thursday, meetings Friday morning and evening and ... hopefully, news that the husbands has left the FOB Saturday or Sunday.

Busy is good. But I know the days will drag anyway. Longest busyness ever.

When He Doesn't FEEL Faithful

Today is a hard day. It's December 4, the day that I've been praying for several months would be the day that Luke came home.

I'm talking hard core prayer. Prayer that leaves on the floor. Prayer that is in every breath. Prayer that makes you CERTAIN God will come through with a big fat "you've got it!"

Except, He didn't.

Now I'm sitting at home. Both Abigail AND Karissa have moved away. And I am not at the airport picking up my husband. I am not wearing my husband-coming-home-outfit. I canceled my childcare reservations I had for tomorrow so we could go see a movie together. I kind of want to curl up in a ball and cry for a very, very long time.

I don't want to go to the coffee tonight. I WANT to be with Luke.

God, why? Why didn't you bring him home?